La Patron's New Year Page 5

  “Why now?”

  This man grew up in a lab. She’d need to present her side in a reasonable, logical and methodical fashion. Asia took his hand, turned and walked over towards the window and looked up at him, praying he would agree with her. It never crossed her mind that she would need to convince him to work with her to have pups.

  “Why now? All I can say is I’m ready. My life has changed in so many ways, discovering I was always loved, my parents were tricked and deceit kept us apart. For so long I didn’t know who I was, how could I consider bringing life into my shaky, shadowy world. Angry, alone, I hated my life, my body, the things I did.” She exhaled through the pain of her past and forged on for her future. “Through all of that I found you, a man who loved me flaws and all. You gifted me with two wonderful pups who I’d lay down my life for. I’m not angry or alone anymore. Through your constant, unshakable love I’ve grown. Healed. I trust in what we have. I guess I’ve settled and my beast is ready to take the next step.”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything.

  “I’ve been trying to get pregnant. For the past few months I have been trying. But…” Asia swallowed hard before continuing. “But nothing seems to be happening. Everyone else is getting pregnant, even Mam before she lost her litter.”

  “Asia.”

  She put her hand out and shook her head. “Just stop, or I won’t be able to finish what I have to say.” Asia cleared her throat and continued. “It seems so easy for everybody else but not me.”

  Both spoke. Hawke said. “We need to talk about this” while Asia said at the same time “I think something may be wrong with me.”

  “Wait, what did you say?” Hawke asked.

  They looked at each other.

  Asia repeated her words. “I think something’s wrong with me.”

  His brow furrowed. “Why do you think something’s wrong with you?”

  “All the surgeries the Liege performed on me, I think they did something to make me sterile or infertile.” Frustration coursed through her body. “Those assholes took everything from me. They didn’t care I might want to conceive, have a den one day.”

  Hawke stroked her arm gently and spoke in a soft measured tone. “I guess that’s possible.” He pursed his lips as his frown deepened. “But it makes no sense. Seems they’d want you to conceive so they could keep your pups like they did mine. Remember, you were the Rolls Royce edition to them and the rest of us were Cadillacs or Chevrolets.” He squeezed her hand. “Think about it. The reason you didn’t want pups was a good one.”

  “At that time, yes. Now? Here in the Compound, things are different.” She didn’t know what else to say.

  “This is important to you? Pups? A bigger den?” He asked rubbing her arms again, easing her fears. “I didn’t know you changed your mind. Why didn’t you say anything before?”

  “Because I thought you wanted pups,” she stressed. “Just as I changed my mind, so did you but neither of us said anything. Plus, I didn’t want to disappoint you. As much as I’ve been trying, it hasn’t happened.”

  Hawke took Asia’s face in his hands, and gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs. He looked deep into her eyes while she put her hands on his waist. “You are my heart. You could never disappoint me.”

  She tried to smile but wasn’t sure if that meant he would support her or not.

  He sighed and brushed his lips against her forehead. “I’m sorry. This took me by surprise. I didn’t realize.” He leaned back with a boyish grin. “If more pups are what you want, then I want more pups if the Goddess blesses us. I will love and defend them.”

  Asia placed her hands-on Hawke’s wrists searching his gaze for answers. “I’m broken, messed up. Do you have any files or information from when you worked in the lab that could help me?”

  For a few seconds his brow furrowed. “I’m not sure, I’ll check, but I don’t recall anything like that. When it came to you, the Liege kept most of that information locked up tight. The files I have aren’t complete. I’ll see if Jacques has access to some I haven’t seen.”

  “Don’t tell him my problem, I don’t want anyone to know how damaged --”

  “Stop! You’re not damaged,” Hawke said in a firm voice cutting her off. “I won’t tell him why I need access to the database because it’s our affair.”

  Asia’s chest expanded and released slowly. She needed to get it together. Hawke loved her and would be content if she never bred. Why did that bother her? She had no idea. But the desire to carry his pups burned in the pit of her soul.

  He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Reestablish our link. My wolf is ready to rip me apart because we can’t stand seeing you like this.”

  “Sorry.” Asia removed the block. Warmth from his love and hers flowed back and forth through their link. She reached up and placed her arms around his neck. He enfolded her into his arms. Several minutes passed as they stood quietly wrapped together.

  Asia pushed back slightly, but remained in his arms. “I spoke to Mistress about this and she suggested I make an appointment with Matt for tests.”

  “That’s a good idea. I’ll still search the files but Matt would be able to confirm if anything is wrong quicker. He tested your mam and should have the results soon.”

  “I know you say I shouldn’t be embarrassed but I am. The reason I haven’t called him yet is I’m ashamed. With Mam being here and all the pregnant females going to see him, I didn’t want word to get out.”

  “We’ll go together. Make a joint appointment so no one knows what’s going on. Maybe they’ll think it’s me, that I’m the one being tested.” He squeezed her hand. “La Patroness is right. We won’t put this off any longer. I’ll go with you.”

  Her smile widened as she kissed him. “Thank you,” she murmured against his lips.

  He slapped her ass. “Promise me there will be no more secrets between us. Talk to me about whatever bothers you. My beast and I hate it when you shut our link.”

  “I promise.” Asia laid her cheek on his chest. “Seriously, thank you. I feel better now that we’ve discussed this. Talk about mixed signals.”

  “Indeed.” The word rumbled in his chest.

  She brought his head down towards her until their foreheads were touching and snaked her arms around his neck again. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

  “Not recently. You’ve been preoccupied and keeping things from your mate.”

  She kissed him. He deepened the kiss. Lust and desire spiraled, leaving them gasping for breaths. “Well then, I guess that I’ll have to make it up to you.”

  Hawke picked her up and walked towards their bedroom. “I like the way you think.”

  Chapter 11

  Asia and Hawke strode into the infirmary. She glanced at the wall clock, licked her lips and rubbed her damp hands against her pant leg. They were 15 minutes early. Hawke signed them in and came to stand next to her.

  “Mam said it didn’t take long to get the results, no more than 30 minutes and that’s because Barticus asked a lot of questions. She’d been so happy that nothing was wrong, she’d wanted to leave, go back to the house and get started again.”

  Hawke smiled and took her hand in his. “See, there’s nothing to worry about.”

  Warmth radiated up her arm from his palm. Doubts, uncertainty and butterflies filled her belly. She bit her lower lip to keep from blurting out her fears. “Yeah, but Mam had been pregnant. We’re not talking apples and apples.” Her gaze slid down the hall to the orderlies wheeling someone through large double doors.

  His finger stroked beneath her chin, lifted it and waited until she returned his stare. “You’re fine, you’ll see. Don’t worry about it.”

  She jerked back. “You don’t really want this.”

  “Didn’t I prove how much on board I am with this last night? I’m more than willing to do my part.”

  She punched his chest. He grabbed her fist, pulled her close and wrapped an arm
around her. “No matter what he says, we’ll make this happen. I promise.”

  Asia closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of his heart. “I’m going to hold you to that,” she murmured as tension eased from her shoulders.

  He chuckled. Vibrations from his chest soothed her more. “Good. Hold onto me and never let go.”

  A side door opened and Matt walked out. Shorter than Hawke, but slightly taller than her, his lithe body moved with smooth grace that always put her at ease. She searched his handsome face and wasn’t reassured by the troubled look in his green gaze. Without thinking, her fingers curled into Hawke’s shirt as she straightened.

  “Matt.”

  He looked at them both and then smiled at her. “Asia. Hawke. Come this way. We’ll talk in my office.”

  Rather than fall apart in one of the main areas she moved quickly, trying to breathe past the disappointment clutching her throat. The look on his face pierced her hopes. Something from the tests must have come back wrong. Could it be the metal in her arm? Legs? Or worse, Nicromja’s ju-ju juice her father used before impregnating her Mam? Or a combination? Hell, she had been cut open so many times, it was a wonder she was sane let alone physically functioning.

  She and Hawke sat in two chairs that were close together facing Matt’s desk. Instead of telling them the test results immediately, he continued to stare at sheets of paper on his desk.

  “Look Matt, just tell us. Not knowing is worse. Asia has been through so much, the strain of waiting isn’t fair,” Hawke said taking her hand.

  “I agree. It’s just that I want to be sure before I speak. When I got the results, I contacted the labs, had them re-check everything and re-send the results.” He tapped the pages on the desk. “These are the new results they sent.”

  Waves of calm flowed through Asia’s link, easing her racing heart-beat. Why couldn’t she be normal, not half a woman?

  “You’re all woman,” Hawke said through their link. “Being able to conceive doesn’t make you more or less of who you are. An amazing, kick-ass woman who I love with all my heart. You’re you, Asia. And that’s perfect for me.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes. Blinking fast, she looked up, gathered her scattered courage and looked at Matt who flipped through pages. “So, what’s the verdict? Why can’t I have pups?” she held her breath as Hawke squeezed her hand.

  Matt rubbed his forehead. “The other day, when we did the testing, you stated you’d been trying to breed.”

  Asia nodded. Swallowing she spoke. “Yes. For several months now. I’ve been telling my body to latch onto Hawke’s seed.”

  The corners of Matt’s lips lifted. “La Patroness?”

  “Yeah, and Victoria. That’s how they did it,” Asia said trying to quell her rising fear.

  “During the times you and Hawke had sex, was there anything different? Did you feel different?” Matt looked at her, glanced at Hawke but returned to her.

  Surprised by his question, she took a few seconds to think back. “No… not that I recall. Good as always.”

  Hawke squeezed her hand. “My pleasure, love.”

  “Hawke?”

  “Each time is better than before,” he said.

  “What about afterward? Pain? Discolored fluids? Large or small amount of fluid?” Matt asked.

  “Fluid?” Asia asked frowning. “I… I don’t know. It’s not something I pay attention to.”

  Matt nodded and stared at her. “When you finish is there a large wet spot? Do you feel anything running down your leg when you go shower? If so, how much?”

  Asia opened her mouth and snapped it shut. Closing her eyes, she thought back to last night. Had there been a large wet spot? “Hawke, I don’t remember. Was the bed wet?”

  “Yes, a little. Did our juices run down your leg when you went to shower? I don’t remember seeing or smelling that,” Hawke said.

  “I don’t either. Is that significant? I mean am I soaking up your swimmers before they can do what they need to do?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. This isn’t anything I’ve ever given thought to. Answer his questions so we can ask a few of our own.”

  “Matt, I don’t recall fluids, lots of fluids, ever being an issue. There’s nothing running down my leg when we’re done or when I get up. Is that the problem?”

  “Could be a part of it,” Matt said writing on the paper and then staring at it for a few seconds. When he looked up, she read inexplicable sadness in his eyes. Asia’s heart dropped as her chest tightened in preparation for bad news.

  “Here’s what I think happened.” Matt looked at her and then Hawke. “During your time in the lab, surgeries were performed. One or a combination of them damaged your reproductive organs.”

  Tears rolled down Asia’s cheeks.

  “No matter what, we will fix whatever is wrong with you,” Hawke said easing her pain.

  “I don’t know if I can be fixed,” she said her gaze sliding to the floor, no longer listening to Matt as he continued his explanations.

  “Do you want to carry my litter?”

  She looked at Hawke. The fire of his commitment to her burned in his eyes, strengthening her. “More than anything.”

  “Then we do whatever has to be done. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I just want to see you happy.”

  She inhaled and nodded before turning to face Matt. “When can we fix this?”

  Matt’s gaze swung from her to Hawke. “So, you want to do this? Like I said it may revert in time on its own.”

  “We’ve waited long enough and want to get this corrected so we can grow our den,” Asia said with more confidence than she felt.

  Matt looked at Hawke. “This is what you want? You’re prepared for this?”

  Hawke nodded. “Yes, my mate and I think it’s best.”

  Matt pushed back from his desk.

  A moment later a nurse walked in. “Yes, Doctor?”

  He waved toward Asia and Hawke. “Please give them the surgery prep packet and schedule it for my next opening.” He stood, looked at Hawke again and shook his head.

  Hawke and Asia stood to follow the nurse. “Thanks for your time, Matt,” Asia said sincerely. Even though he may not agree with her decision to fix whatever was broken inside, she knew he’d do an excellent job.

  Matt walked toward her and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Always. Anything for you guys.” He took Hawke’s hand and was pulled into a loose embrace.

  Stepping back, he looked at Hawke. “Once you read through the information, start preparing immediately. It’ll take time to clear your system and I don’t want to go in more than once.”

  Hawke frowned.

  “What?” Asia asked stepping next to Hawke. “Why are you telling him this?” Had she missed something?

  This time Matt frowned. “He’s having surgery.”

  “What?” Hawke and Asia said together.

  Matt tilted his head to the side, and closed the door. “Were you listening to me?”

  “Yes… just at the beginning,” Asia said trying to calm her nerves. Grabbing Hawke’s hand, she synced her breathing with his. “Tell us again. What did the tests say?”

  “Hawke, you can read the report. I’ll be sure to send you a copy. Right now, I’ll give you the abbreviated version since you zoned out during the technical version.” His brow rose as if daring them to deny it.

  They didn’t.

  “Asia, as far as the tests show, there’s nothing wrong with any of your reproductive organs. Despite everything you’ve gone through, your body is extremely healthy,” Matt said in a kind tone that touched her heart.

  “Thank you!” she whispered as she wiped away tears. “What about Hawke?”

  “That’s where things are murky. The tests are inconclusive. We know at one point he was able to sire pups. Damian and Sarita are proof of that.” Matt looked at Hawke. “How many surgeries did you have in the past five to six years?”

  “Three, possibly four. I’ll check my
files. You think something happened during one of those?” Hawke asked, entirely too calm for Asia. If Matt were talking about her, she would be cursing the Liege and all their kin right now.

  Matt nodded. “It’s possible. I won’t know until we do more testing and then surgery. Get those x-rays, and other tests done between today and tomorrow and we’ll know more. For now, read the information, sign off on the tests and inform La Patron.” He slapped Hawke’s shoulder. “See you soon.”

  Chapter 12

  Hawke and Asia walked hand in hand down the hall towards the infirmary. All the tests had been completed and his surgery was scheduled for today. Anxious, Asia’s thoughts bounced from her hatred of surgeries, to Hawke undergoing surgery for them, to guilt over his surgery which she hated. Hawke’s calm demeanor steadied her, and kept her quiet from voicing her fears.

  Matt strode down the hall in the opposite direction and stopped when he saw them.

  “Come to my office. I’ll explain what’s going to happen.” Matt sounded more confident than when he informed them surgery was necessary. He led them into his office where they all took seats.

  “According to the tests there’s a blockage of some type in your vas deferens which I suspect is the main cause of your infertility. The x-rays also show a tear in the epididymis which I’ll take care of once inside. Afterwards, you will receive a series of injections which will help to increase your sperm count.”

  No one spoke.

  “What the hell’s he talking about?” Asia asked Hawke.

  “The first is the duct that carries my sperm into you, the other is in my balls,” Hawke said.

  Asia’s frown lightened. “Thanks for explaining all that, Hawke.”

  Matt looked at her. “Sorry. I’ll attempt to use laymen’s terms.”